random thoughts

In the sleepy town of Dontanpally

2010-01-30T23:17:00.000-08:00

Snuggled up here in my quilt
Thinking about IBS days-
about every moment lived to its hilt

Soon we would be another picture on a wall
and some names on random certificates
These soon to be desolate corridors
will echo our tales

of the drinking binges,of latenight gruesome movies
unbearable mess food and on the rescue,binger's maggie

Now will i ever get incessently pinged on gtalk?
When to the busy sign people seldom paid heed
or will i see a desolate gtalk
offline friends and no status messages to read?

What do i value more,i do not know
Ride in a shared auto to downtown
or off to a swanky bar in a luxury sedan

Earnestly i try and hold on to this feeling
of belongingness,of being a student,
Bunking classes,proxies and all those mischiefs

But deep down i realize,all this will take flight
To catch smoke in a fist is not possible
It is impermanence vs my entire might

So here i am expressing my gratitude----
Certain moments in life i would cherish rather miss
the first bike,the first beer and the first kiss
Time spent here is no less indeed.

Communion

2009-11-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

After a long wait here you were again
Letting me sip the wine of your eyes
Though from genorosity you did refrain

It was a brief interlude---
quickly your eyes turned away
leaving me intoxicated for days and days

in that brief moment
your eyes gave in to the inevitable longing
and the emotions betrayed the
veil of demeanour under which you were hiding.

sometimes centuries are not enoughto convey the implied
and sometimes it just takes a split second
and that twinkle of your eye.

Let the world rip me off and mercilessly leave me to die
but no one can ever take away
what is said between your eye and mine.

Rewind

2009-11-14T04:51:00.000-08:00

i have heard big people say
We live life king size
regrets we have nay

so why do i want to enter the rewind mode
and make a quick exit from this dusty road

Undo i will all the excruciating pain and hideous scars
will land myself in the valley of shining stars

Though i must admit, all this while
Learnings i had plenty

But what utility will the learnings be
When the game is over and its time to leave

Wishful thinking of a utopian life
The arrow has long departed the bow
Reap i must now, what i did sow.

DOOR AFTER DOOR

2009-10-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

Walking down the corridors of uncertainity

each step feels like eternity---

door after door being shut on you

it is as if you belong to an existence miniscule

never did i ever think

that i would have to prove my mettle

every time my eye would blink---

they said that be like a fragrance

even if you try to hold it in your fist

it spreads everywhere as does the mist

But alas!!!! the jury here had a blocked nose

impervious to the fragrance

i was welcome with closed doors.

Helpless and impotent,

still i knock at door after door

Maybe utopia is not a thing of folklores

who knows it is teasing me while awaiting

behind one of those doors.

MERRY GO ROUND

2009-10-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

Another day comes to an end
some aspirations still impending
yet some contentment

isnt this what my life is all about
the swirling of a merry go round

it takes its sweet time to gather momentum
then for some time it is unstoppable
like the bullet of a gun

and then the realization dawns on you
the ride is over,off to home you go

Night then sets in, and solitude reigns
and when i think about
what i lost and what i gained.

Will tomorrow be any better?
Who knows?
With these thoughts i lie down
the answers lies in tommorows merry go round

UNSUNG SONG

2009-10-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

A day i will pour my heart out

for eons which has been en route

they say i am an introvert

Lets just say, i didnt find the right audience

in front of whom my emotions, i will blurt

This song has not been sung, maybe it will never be

but its better to be unsung than to be a passing spree

The song requires understanding not appreciation

but it seems " only loud and flashy sells in the commotion"

and understanding i can never demand

spontaneous it is like a spell of a magic wand.

So wait i will some more years

one day i am sure you will say

"I am all ears"

The Naive Man

2009-10-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

Look around and you see people furiously running

Frantically in pursuit from being to becoming

A naive man asked someone running to and fro

"Oh! Runner where are you headed to?"

The runner said "i myself dont know"

It is just that everyone did so

And i followed their lead and leapt long

For sure so many people cannot be wrong

I got so scared of being left behind

so helter skelter i ran

and gave it in the grind

The naive man asked the runner again

"Oh! Runner where are you headed to ?"

The destination is not my concern and frankly i do not know

everyone is running and i cannot be left alone

Let the crowds take me wherever they go

i will not give up even if it rains or snow

Now i have blinders on my eyes and a chasing mind

I only take note of who is ahead and who is behind

My only goal is to overtake the person ahead

irrespective of any perils the path laid

The only thing which gives shudders in my dream

is the person right behind me ,stealthily closing in"

Seein all the fuss the naive man got jittery

coz all this time he was snuggled up in his cocoon

Livng off the borrowed sunlight as does the moon

Where was he when the race started

when everyone else but him departed

It seems like its too late to start running now

Being competitive was never his cup of tea anyhow

Though its time for some serious contemplation

but somehow---- it seemed so silly

to run for the sake of defeating everybody

So maybe tommorow he will think about entering this race

right now it is time to savour this moment in its full grace

even at the risk of the world might calling him naive.

My long lost friends

2009-10-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

Hello!!! My long lost friends

So many of you have come and gone

all of you have been part of my life's song

Never ever did i think---

that we will have a common link

we surely have some sort of karmic footprint

and that i will come across so many flavours

never did i have a slightest hint

Some people are my today ,while some have gone deep in the past's abyss

Once were the strangers and now it is them i miss

Its Not only the people of the past

so many of them are still veiled for the future

and at the right moment they will spring up fast

They say you come alone and you go alone

but i say these memories accompany you to the heavenly throne

Everone came and taught you a lesson

invariably in the weirdest of fashions

As all of them occupy the chapters of my book

i am also a part of their story even if i occupy a lonely nook

I am sure there must be some lines dedicated to me

which reflect me as the good,the bad or the ugly

For the good part i am grateful

while for the bad and uglyi am remorseful

In my deepest intentions ,i meant no harm

But maybe on the periphery,i could not be captain calm

But then as you had a purpose in my life

I had one in yours too,and if i knew i would tell you.

We loved,fought,hated,respected,envied,laughed,and cried,

though however bitter the endings were

for new beginings we always vied

Your presence has left an indellible mark

and what i am today carries a bit of your spark

It is hard for me to say whether we will meet again

So let me here thankyou for your presence

in those winters,springs,summers and rains.

Though i would keep an optimistic outlook

and someday would like to sip wine with you

while we share our stories of the paths we took.

So till we meet again and make amends---

Adieu! My Long lost friends!!!!!!!

MEEK AND POWERFUL

2009-09-24T12:05:00.000-07:00

Though i would like to beleive
that steadfast as a rock,
I am a deeprooted tree

But isnt it true
that something as meek as water
can make the rock falter

Slowly with time the rock withers away
when with force , the flowing water sways

This rock has also seen lots of abrasions
It is not the same old majestic creation

Sometimes it seems like the fatal blow is yet 2 come
which will rip the rock off its remniscent decorum

Though steadfast from the outside
It fears for its life

Such is the havoc that the water created
that the rock couldnt help but contemplated

Why was it an egoistic rock in the first place---
why it considered such a disgrace
to seek help and solace

All he needed to do was to ask for help from someone
But it takes gr8 courage to admit
that courage he had none.

Helpless, the poor rock took the blows of time
and gave up all the trying---

Though the agony of a lost kingdom was still there
and it was his final wish which he did share

He told the flowing river
take me along and make me like you
so dirty yet so clear

Because as for the river
It had no memories
which made her shiver

The river lived as if there was no past
Every second it renewed itself
Without any thoughts of a holocaust

Every moment was a new creation
Because for the river there was no time for any contemplation---

The river readily agreed
and the rock's pain was relieved

The rock merged into the river
It was time to spread the good cheer!!!

Alas! there are still many rocks
Who haven't found the key to their locks

Still trapped in the viscious cycle of ego
Yet to come are many many blows!!!

I wonder when will the rocks
graduate from this school
and when will they learn, like the water
To be meek yet so powerful.

KING AND THE CLOWN

2009-09-21T00:04:00.000-07:00

hmmmm why did i want everthing my way

Was it god i wanted to play--

Or Maybe i didnt know

That i was Just a pompous show

But have i known Now ?

Or am i pretending to be a know how

I crave for something i earlier had---

everday i want 2 relive the same old lad

Why is this mad obsession with past or future

While it is the present whom i should be a suitor

But this is not that "present" what i wanted it to be

It should have been a fairy tale with a "spectacular me"

It is not you i wanted, nor i wanted silver or gold

Just a few words like " For you i cared"

would have been some petty coins that you could have spared

From the little i have known of this world inscrutable

the "feeling of being wanted" is what is immutable

Why is that being loved takes a centrestage

While spreading love should have been our craze

I guess the times have changed drastically

For love has become a commodity to be used sparsingly

Maybe we dont know what love actually is

For us it is just a concept of adam and eve

And it is not that i am playing a blame game

For i am myself lost and feel pretty lame.

But one thing i know for sure

Love was when for my mom i ran chores

Now it is just a concept

which i am chasing day and night

Alas--- Not to be seen anwhere in the sight

Because for me i am always weighing and calculating

Whenever with someone i am communicating

Can that childhood innocence of non judging be back again

Where in a relationship i was not looking for any gain

It was the journey which was important than the destination

and with every being i felt a little relation

Whom do i blame for this confusion i do not know

maybe this is how, something, god wants us to show

And maybe it is not all that bad than i make it to be

For god has given us rum and coke to set our spirits free

Anway He gave us Wine women and song

maybe because the answers to our questions were very long

If we see carefully we are just a speck of dust

so lets not take ourselves seriously unless we must

Just play along and remove that frown

sometimes god wanted you to be a king,

Now he wants you to be a clown.

LOOK IN HER EYE

2009-09-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

it was the look in her eye
which made me thinkshe is going 2 be my sweetie pie

How i m 2 speak 2 her and let her know
that she has becum my life's rainbow

i dont wanna risk overfriendliness
nor do i ever want aloofness

how am i to get to that moment of truth
when my words will sweep her off her foot.

After eons the time has finally come
when to me such a harm has been done----

I cant let this time go simply by my eyes
Oh! wheel of time,
unravel dis mysterious surprise.

Why does God make such beautiful creations
even deadlier than weapons of mass destructions

sometimes it makes me wonder
about this sweet tormentor

has she also been longing a little bit
or am i the only one
lurking in the bottomless pit

But anyhow such are gods ways---
and who i am to challenge the grace.

If its destined for me to be in this pain
happily will my head bow down to be slain---

It is irrelevant now whether i will live or die
as all the damage has already been done
by the look in her eye.